


Anything, Everything

by 911xtarlos



Series: Harringrove Ficlets [10]
Category: Stranger Things (TV 2016)
Genre: Abused Billy Hargrove, Abusive Neil Hargrove, Angst, Billy Hargrove Needs a Hug, M/M, Neil Hargrove's A+ Parenting, Steve Harrington Needs a Hug, robin is a good friend
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-03
Updated: 2019-10-03
Packaged: 2020-11-22 19:54:03
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,192
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20879783
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/911xtarlos/pseuds/911xtarlos
Summary: Billy Hargrove struggled to feel anything. Steve Harrington felt too much.





	Anything, Everything

Billy Hargrove struggled to feel anything. At eight years old, when he’d watch his mother drive away from their home without so much as a glance back at her sobbing child, he’d realized that feelings were dangerous. Loving things was not worth the pain it would cause in the long run. So he’d shoved all his emotions into a steel box buried deep in his heart and threw away the key. It had been a heavy lesson for an eight year old to learn, but one that served him well.

Steve Harrington felt too much. His mother had always described him as a “sensitive boy”. His father had just scoffed and muttered something about being weak under his breath. Steve had tried not to be so sensitive. He’d tried to harden himself, to fight back against the tears that always seemed to be forming behind his eyes. It never worked. The older he got, the harder his father tried to make him a stone cold, future business man. Steve couldn’t do it, he felt too much for people and he knew he’d never be able to scam them and manipulate them the way his father did.

Billy knew he should feel something. He should be howling in pain or screaming in anger. All he felt was numb. He couldn’t bring himself to care that Max was squalling in the other room. She had been since Billy had gotten home and Neil had slammed him against the door and started yelling. Billy had come home high, the third time this week. Now Neil’s fists were falling irregularly, all over his face and his body, but Billy felt nothing. Even tomorrow the cuts and bruises would be a dull ache, one Billy would revel in. A small chance to be able to feel.

Steve sat in the principal’s office, tears welling in his eyes, ice pack cooling the stinging cut on the side of his face. Some of the boys in his class, the boys he played basketball with were picking on a freshman girl in the hallway. The were pulling at her skirt and calling her names. One of them slapped the books out of her hands and then pushed her down when she’d stooped to pick them up. Steve had tried to intervene. He’d pulled one off of her and pushed him into the lockers. The two bigger ones had grabbed him and started punching. Steve flailed and kicked, trying to buy the girl some time to run. And she did. Straight to the principal. Which was why Steve was waiting in his office for his parents to pick him up for his three day suspension. But they couldn’t get anyone on the phone. Steve wasn’t surprised, his parents were too worried about their dinner parties in Chicago than their own son. He’d ended up just walking home, crying and alone on the abandoned streets of Hawkins. 

Billy knew he should feel something. Max was glaring at him from the other side of the car. He was looking out the window trying to avoid her gaze. Not that there was much to distract him. All of the roads had looked the same since they’d passed the faded blue “Leaving California” sign. He’d snapped at her before they left. He hadn’t really meant too. They were both in bad moods, upset about leaving their home. So when she’d asked him a simple question as they were getting in the car, he’d snapped. Neil had snapped at him, made him apologize, but he and Max both knew he didn’t mean it. He couldn’t bring himself to car about the upset thirteen year old he was sharing a backseat with. He couldn’t bring himself to care about much these days. He bought a snickers at the next gas station and split it for them to share. He even let her have the bigger half. They both knew that was as close to an apology as he could get.

Steve’s heart broke to see a little girl so afraid of her brother. Her brother, who was supposed to protect her and stand up for her, was the main source of her fear. So Steve fought for her, just like he’d been fighting for people all his life. And Billy had handed his ass to him on a silver platter. Steve fought to keep tears back as Billy’s fists brought blood out of his face. Steve thought he might actually be enjoying it. Billy’s face was split into a grin so wide it was almost a grimace. Then something had happened, Billy fell of of him and the world went dark.

Even with Harrington’s blood on his hands and arms, he felt numb. He saw Max, standing over him, nail studded bat in her hands. There was a fire behind her eyes, a fire that he swore he’d kill to feel. Even when she swung the bat down, demanding he tell her that he understood, he didn’t even feel fear. He felt nothing. 

Steve felt too much, lying on the bathroom floor next to Robin. He’d poured his heart out and she’d told him she was gay. That wasn’t what broke his heart. It was the fear in her eyes, like she thought Steve would laugh at her or hit her or worse. 

“I mean Tammy Thomson, she’s cute and all but she’s a total dud.”

“She is not.”

“Yes she is. She wants to be a singer, she wants to move to like Nashville and shit.”

“She has dreams.”

“She can’t even hold a tune. She’s practically tone deaf.”

Steve broke into a horrible impression of Tammy’s singing voice.

“You sound like a muppet.”

“She sounds like a muppet. She sounds like a muppet giving birth!”

He broke into another tune and this time Robin joined. He threw his head back and laughed, he laughed until tears were falling down his face. But for the first time in a long time, they were good tears.

When Billy woke, he was numb. But for the first time in his life, he was only physically numb. He felt like his heart was shattering. Max was sobbing into his shoulder, muttering something about him being alive and holy shit.

“Language,” his voice sounded like sandpaper.

Max sobbed tearfully and pressed her cheek to his shoulder. He couldn’t lift his arms, couldn’t do much more than turn his head slightly to nuzzle her hair. He glanced up to see her, the girl he’d saved, the girl who’d managed to break down the walls he’d barricaded himself with for years. He wanted to thank her but his mouth wouldn’t cooperate. He gave her a smile that made him feel like she’d read his mind. He glanced to Harrington, who was leaning against the wall in his stupidly adorable uniform, trying to stealthily wipe his tears. For the first time since he was eight years old, Billy let himself feel. He felt like he was absorbing all the emotions in the room, the sadness, the happiness, the disbelief. And for the first time since he was eight years old, Billy Hargrove cried. 

**Author's Note:**

> I hope you enjoyed! Make sure to leave comments and kudos if that's something you like to do. I'm also on Tumblr. Feel free to leave requests or just come hang out. 
> 
> Click [here](https://www.tumblr.com/blog/strxngehxrringrove) to check out my blog.


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